Understanding China

I think that the longer I am here, the more I come to understand China for real. It's no longer a skin-deep relationship. I'm so used to hearing all this superficial stuff, facades that the general public puts up for the "outsiders." It is not inaccurate to call China xenophobic, because I think in many ways, our culture is somewhat built that way in spite of our Confucian roots. But I think what I've come to realize is that it is not that the Chinese don't dare to say anything or don't have a desire, it's just that they all know this as an unchangeable fact and it's not worth mentioning.

What is this "this" that I speak of? It's actually rather sobering now that I have come to realize this. China is in a bad state. By that I mean as a society. As a nation, they are growing rapidly, gaining ground in the international world, but as a society, they are stuck in a rut and can't seem to have a means of climbing out. It is sad, and rather tragic when I think about it.

The people recognize this. They *know* that their society has become so messed up for lack of a better term. While my NJU professors tried everything in their power to maintain the party line, I have a hard time believing them now that I have come to understand China on a more "inside" level. Today at another new year's dinner celebration (thankfully smaller), while chatting around the table, Kamla's relatives recognized the flaws within their society. As a society, they were becoming amoral, they don't care for their fellow "neighbor" anymore, not as they used to. We have the Cultural Revolution to thank for that. I don't mean this as a criticism of China. Contrary to that, I actually feel a great level of sympathy for them, because with the path China chose to get where it is today, the people had little choice but to become what they are now.

Their children, now only single children, are pampered like little emperors and little empresses. This syndrome is creating a a society of spoiled brats, for lack of a better word, and they all don't know how to care for themselves, because their parents do not allow for their independence.

And the saddest fact of all that I discovered tonight was that they *know* they were lied to within their education. In their own words, some of the "facts" and stories were 篇出來的, meaning, these historical figures, some good or bad were highly exaggerated or never did some of the things that the government approved textbooks say they did. For example, some of these "bad" historical figures actually were part of the revolutionary movement in China and actually helped the party, but since they were a 知識分子 (intellectual), they were later deemed an enemy of the state. But the conclusion was that even though they didn't like these things, it was a reality and there was nothing they could do to change it.

In some ways, this was the sad fact that it is true on a certain level, that this is such a deeply rooted problem within their country now that it is nearly impossible to change: the nonchalance, the uncivilized behavior, the corruption. But at the same time, perhaps it is also this thought that keeps them where they are today, that "stuck in a rut" state. I don't know if this is just an opinion held among the older generation that remembers the revolution and working in the fields, the many years of bitterness and hard labor, but in my interactions with others here, it seems that this is actually a rather popular sentiment: You can't change something that is so 根深蒂固. It is in fact one of the most sobering revelations I've had about China thus far to date.

Of course, once again, I must emphasize that I hope this isn't mis-perceived as a criticism of China. No, rather I feel such sadness for China as it is an observation I've made that is extremely prevalent in their current society. It is tragic, and that's really all I can say.