Planning Events, or Lack Thereof

In the short 5-6 months that I have been here in China, event planning is perhaps one of the worst aspects of the Chinese culture. It is virtually nonexistent, and this is made apparent in their transportation system. Train tickets can only be purchased a maximum of 10 days in advance (fairly recently reduced from the original 14); movie tickets can only be purchased for a movie only 24 hours in advance, any earlier and it is unavailable; plane tickets get cheaper as you draw closer to the departure date, etc. The list goes on, but planning, or lack thereof can essentially drive the planner/schedule-driven American insane. In my case, it has really done a number on my nerves.

While most of the times, I am appreciative of the generous gestures Kamla's family members have made, today was almost the last straw. Last night, Kamla's uncle "invited" us to attend a symphony this evening, which in the end, he personally did not attend either. I have been exhausted all week and have been craving a weekend off, a Friday night with which I could catch up on some much-needed house-keeping, cleaning, chores, and writing/thinking. I need an evening to myself that I can just lounge around and virtually do nothing, or be semi-productive in my own book would be perfect. But no, while the concert was fairly enjoyable minus the irritating concert-etiquette-lacking audience, there were moments where I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the music, but nearly drifted off due to fatigue. And that is saying something. Music is a source of reprieve for me, but when combined with a commentating populace, children running amok in the aisles, and doors opening and closing, my patience wore thin. Granted, I truly appreciate Kamla's family, but sometimes, all I wish they would do is ask. Kamla is often too nice, and I don't think "no" is in her vocabulary. Perhaps I have traditionally been too quick to say "no" to many invitations, but sometimes I think we need to know our limits. So perhaps we ought to balance the two of us out, but I guess it's just a matter of principle.

As Americans, I think we often engage in fights, wars, arguments over a simple matter of principles. And with these surprise outings that are just dumped into my lap all of a sudden, I honestly could use a warning or two. It's just common decency to ask first, instead of forcing someone to go attend something. It is much like drinking in China, you don't just force people to drink, ask. I don't like it when my freedom of choice and decision-making abilities are ripped out from under me. It is not a feeling I enjoy, but I suppose it is something I ought to accustom myself to if I plan on working with people in China. Needless to say, it is something I am working on.

Thankfully the evening didn't go too late today, but the crazy side of me wanting to still accomplish some goals was cleaning the house at 2 a.m. Yes, it's silly of me to be mopping the floor, cleaning the bathroom at 2:00 a.m., but hey, it was mildly therapeutic, and I will not have to force a tired-me tomorrow to do it out of obligation. At least now, those simple chores are out of the way.